Welcome to the official Burger-Zone menu, where the calories don't count and the grease is always free! We pride ourselves on using the finest cuts of meat that were available at the discount warehouse this morning. Each item is prepared with a level of care that can only be described as "enthusiastic." Please read the risk levels carefully before ordering your lunch.
| Item | Price | Risk Level |
|---|---|---|
| The Basic Boy Bread and Meat. That's it. |
$0.99 | Low |
| The Greasy Ghost So oily it slides right through you! |
$4.50 | Medium |
| The "Mistake" We dropped it in the fryer twice. |
$2.00 | High |
| Veggie Burger Essentially a salad in a bun. (Boring!) |
$15.00 | Emotional |
| The 4:00 AM Regret Served in a paper bag with no napkins. |
$3.25 | Existential |
| The Titanic It's sinking in gravy. God help us all. |
$8.95 | Physical |
| The Mystery Slider Don't ask. Just chew. |
$0.50 | Critical |
| The Ghost Patty Non-corporeal meat. 0 calories! |
$12.99 | Spectral |
| The Brick Heavy. Very heavy. Bun is made of stone. |
$5.00 | Structural |
| The 'Kevin' Special A burger with a stolen bike on the side. |
$99.00 | Legal |
SIDE DISHES:
- Salty Sticks (Fries): $1.50
- Onion Hula Hoops: $2.00
- Bowl of Pure Lard: $0.25 (Manager's Special!)
- A Single Pickle: Free if you can catch it.
Dessert menu coming in 1999!
(Where will the grease take you? 25% Stay | 25% Pizza | 25% Taco | 24% Hot Dog | 1% Knowledge)